The Dark Side Of Recovery

So, yeah, I missed a post last week. Seems to have gotten away from me. Ruined my streak, which I guess isn’t that big a deal. It’s not like I have thousands, or even dozens of readers hanging on my every word. Only one person mentioned it. Maybe I just didn’t have anything to say. It happens.

Not sure I have anything much to add, this week, either. Still not feeling well. Just dropped off another pint of blood for the lab vampires. My medicine cabinet is starting to look like a pharmacy. Weird. Two years ago it was a place for things like extra razors, band aids, fingernail clippers, etc. Now it’s crowded with orange bottles, bearing multi-syllabic labels and child protective caps.

A never-ending supply…

I probably don’t have to say it, but I’ll be glad when this ungodly year is over. I’ll be feeling its effects for years to come. In fact, this will be remembered as the year I got old. At the beginning of 2018, I still felt like I was 30 – fat and sassy. Thanks to a myriad of tests, extreme radiation treatments and fistfuls of drugs, I’m ending the year looking and feeling like I’m closing in on 60. Which I am, but I didn’t think it would happen all at once.

Add to that a mountain of debt, an unexpected IRS audit and a memory like swiss cheese and you can see why I’ll be happy to leave 2018 behind. Honestly, I’m not expecting 2019 to be much better. I can’t help feeling that the other shoe is still up there, hovering like the Sword of Damocles, ready to drop any second. This is the dark side of recovery, or so they tell me. The uncertainty can be a bit unnerving. But hey, at least I’m still upright and fogging mirrors, right?

This is why we call it the Land Of Enchantment.

And I am very lucky to have a loving husband and friends who force me out of my funk, from time to time. I haven’t been very social, lately. I guess that goes with the territory, but this past weekend our friends Kelly and Lisa invited us on a roadtrip to Colorado and it was just what I needed. Northern New Mexico is gorgeous at this time of the year, as is southern Colorado. I’ll be posting a lot of new pictures on my Flickr account, whenever I get the chance.

A weekend of laughter and wandering around taking pictures was just what this battered old soul needed. A moment of respite from bill collectors, government paperwork and medical routines. A change of pace in an unfamiliar place is always a good thing for clearing out the cobwebs, even if the burdens are waiting upon my return. I’m grateful for these moments and these people. It’s all about perspective, after all and there are always things for which to be thankful.

Despite vampires, both physical and financial.

And, yes I did!

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