What the hell does tomorrow bring? That’s the number one thought rattling around in the rabbit hutch of my mind. What should I expect from 2019? Well, let’s see… The country will continue sliding, hate first into the abyss of broken dreams. My medical bills will continue to mount, like a mastiff on a Pekingese, putting me further and further in debt. My health will continue ping-ponging like a drunken kangaroo. And those are just the highlights.
So. Not much, really.
Okay, well, I guess that means it’s up to me, again. So, I ask myself – as I so often do in situations like this one – what would Waldo* do? Simple. It comes down to self-reliance. If I’m gonna stay positive and upbeat** during the coming months, I’m gonna have to pull myself up by the proverbial boot straps, ‘cause I’m not gettin’ any love from the universe. Knowuddamean?
So, here we are teetering on the edge of a new, and very uncertain year. Most of my thoughts are about family. Both blood and chosen. I think about them a lot. I think about how little time I spend with them in any given month. I think about the fact my parents are not getting any younger, and only live a quarter mile away. I’ll be honest… that one I think about a lot.
I think about my faithful and incredibly patient husband. I need to be less of a burden to him. I think about my beautiful woggies, living in Mordor, and how much trust and comfort they provide me. I need to see them more. And I think about my son, also in Mordor, and the great strides we have taken together in the last three years – making up for the seven in which we didn’t speak at all.
I think about these things and a lot more, involving a lot more people, and that is what keeps me going. At the same time, I’m feeling the need to travel. See some places I’ve never seen before, except in them pitcher books crazy aunt Edna*** ustah show us when we were kids. Some will be in our own backyard, obviously, but I’d like to visit new places, both here in North America and beyond.
Why not? My son is in Taiwan today with his raging, ninja thunderc@nt of a mother****. My oldest friend – who I’ve known since before puberty – is in Paris for the holidays. I think it might be nice to spend next NYE someplace exotic. Like Canada. Can’t really afford much more than that until I can pay down some of those execrable bills, but Canada may be doable.
If not, maybe Colorado. I can think of a lot of good reasons to go to Colorado for the holidays. But I can also think of a few good reasons not to, including snow. Actually, snow is probably the only reason. If not for that one thing, I would be SO Colorado bound. It’s a big reason, obviously.
You see what I’m getting at here, don’t you? The future is uncertain. Live for the moment. Be present to those around you. Make an effort to spend quality time with those who matter most. And get the fuck outta Dodge every once in a while. Experience the world around you. Be nice. Be bold. Be an excellent***** human being. If I can accomplish all that, I think I’ll be making the absolute best of a super crappy socioeconomic trickle-down situation and a nasty little gut goblin that just won’t give up.
*Ralph Waldo Emerson, to the uninitiated.
**Okay, that may be pushing it, but I can at least try, right?
***Name has been changed to protect… well… myself really.
****I got that one from my niece. So proud! I told her it sounds like an 80s super team cartoon for people who just have no more fucks left to give. She agreed. True story.
*****Whoa! Ease back on the pedal, there. Excellent? Seriously? Can’t I just say “good” and leave it at that? I think striving to be a good human being is a noble pursuit. One I’m more likely to live up to…